Wow!
What a crazy week!! Of course finals week is always busy but there is something special about the last one. I took work off so
that I could have some time to study. For some reason I just haven't seemed to
have much time for it recently. Ha! I have realized that I have missed nearly a month’s worth of material and if I wanted to be able to graduate I had to
pass these tests this week. Chase has been pretty stressed to. Engineering
finals will do that to anyone! I have 3 exams and a final project to get done.
The project was due Monday. The project – a portfolio website for Chase’s
graduate school applications - was about three quarters of the way done, but I
had been procrastinating it the last couple of weeks and was down to one night
to get it finished. Luckily things went smoothly Monday morning and everything got done.
Never underestimate my powers of last minute productivity, it is a skill I have honed for the past 4 years! I spent the rest of
the day studying frantically for my two history finals on Tuesday. Those were
my most difficult finals, simply because there was so much material to review.
Remembering everything I had learned about the Soviet Union and WWII was a tall
order, but the tests went well and I was able to leave with that pride that
comes from knowing you did well on your tests. Thursday was my last final and I
wasn't too worried about it. Probably because marketing isn't what I want to do
with my life, the class wasn't too difficult, and the test was going to be multiple choice. The strangest
feeling was sitting down to that test and realizing that there were 100
questions between me and the end of my college education. I couldn't help
counting down as I answered questions. 75 to go. Half way done. Only 25
questions left. 10 more!! 5!! This is the last test question ever!!! Phew! I'm still waiting for it to feel real.
April 26 – Hair-magedon
Fair warning, this post is full of pictures, tons of them! Enjoy!
The weekend
seemed to confirm the pattern we have been noticing after my treatments. I was
sick for about four days, fatigued on the fourth day (Tuesday), and have felt
like my normal self ever since. This time, the fatigue and headaches were worse,
and the nausea was better. Honestly, I could get used to that, because feeling
nauseous is my least favorite thing ever. But by Wednesday I was feeling good
again. Chemo hasn't been nearly as debilitating as I was afraid it was going to
be and I almost feel guilty about how nice everyone has been. I'm not really
that sick, and it only lasts 4 days out of every 14.
That
being said, it is still chemo, and this week was a strong reminder. It started
innocently enough Monday morning. When I tried to put gel in my hair I realized
that I had lots of strands stuck to my hands. I also realized there was a lot
more hair in the sink than normal. Hoping that this wasn't the beginning of the
end for my poor follicles I went to work. That night when I brushed out my hair
it was a veritable snow storm, but of hair. I mean, I knew that hair loss was a
likely possibility, but my hair had been so strong and healthy up to this point
I was secretly hoping that it might just thin a little and the destroying angel
would pass by. Looks like that was too good to be true. My first concern was
the fact that I had scheduled a photo shoot on Friday. I wanted to get some
pictures to put on my graduation announcements, which I realize should have
been done a month ago, please forgive me. What if all my hair started coming
out in patches before then? How could I do a photo shoot with chunks of hair
missing?? I resolved to not to wash my hair, brush it, or even touch my head
until Friday, and hopefully that would preserve it a little.
Turns
out as soon as I’m not allowed to do something that is all I want to do. Not
touching my hair was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. By
the third day of not washing it my scalp itched, my hair was a greasy mess, and
dry shampoo was about as effective as a finger in a leaky dam. But I was determined.
Friday morning came and I did in fact still have hair on my head! Now came the
real test. It had to be washed. I tentatively stepped in to the shower and
turned on the water. Almost immediately I could feel a layer of hair rinse out.
Eeeek! Using shampoo while trying not to touch your hair is an interesting
balancing act I hope none of you have to experience. One more quick rinse and
another wave of hair later I called it quits. It was clean enough and I was losing
too many casualties.
April 17 - Thanks for the Love! (Chemo Day 2/12)
Hello! Here is the weekly update, although I’m not sure how
much I have to report. Like I mentioned before, most of the side effects were
cleared up by last Thursday and I have felt really great all week. I’ll keep
you posted on how I'm doing after my infusion today. The hardest part has been school.
After a month of jam packed days, and only going to class a handful of times it
was hard to get back in to the rhythm of things. It’s like I've realized how
much more there is out there besides school work. That being said I was still
able to study for (and get an A on) a test! I had missed so much class I wasn’t
sure if I knew enough to do well. Lucky for me I have a great friend who is
even willing to go to class and takes notes for me! Other exciting school
things that happened this week include finishing my last ever group project and
writing my last college paper (YAY!). It just seems unreal that I only have a
final project and three exams between me and graduation. I have been having a
minor crisis of identity as I try to sort out who I am going to be without
school. Being a student has been the core of my identity as long as I can
remember, and I have spent so many years in a class room. Guess we'll just
have to wait and see and trust that it will all work out. I am looking forward
to never having homework again!
Today
is my second infusion and I am getting it as I write this. I did a much better job
packing my bag this time. I have my fuzzy blanket, plenty of snacks, a book,
and a fully charged laptop. I’m all set to get pumped full of poison. It really
is strange how quickly you can adjust to crazy things. I’m not sure how soon this one will affect me, but I can promise you that there will be no pastrami sandwiches in the near future! That seems to be the most difficult part, all of
this not knowing how you are going to be feeling and not being able to
plan for things because you just don't know. Maybe after this one I'll be able
to establish some kind of pattern for how treatment makes me feel.
April 12 – Month-iversary
Today
marks one month since I was diagnosed. I can't believe how much has happened.
You have access to the blog, and can see for yourself. I have spent more time
in hospitals and talking to doctors than I had ever imagined I would at this
point in my life. Nothing about this last month was part of my life plan, and
it hasn't always been easy to deal with it. But at least the chaos seems to be
behind me. The time consuming tests and procedures are all done. The treatment
has started, and I am doing better than I could have hoped.
The first
few days after chemo weren't much fun. I spent my weekend mostly on the couch
not wanting to eat. Luckily the weather was beautiful and Chase was able to convince
me to go out and take several long walks. As counter intuitive as it seems, the
exercise seems to help me feel better, rather than worse. The most miserable
part of the week has been my inability to breath. The swelling from the port
surgery lasted until Friday, and made it hard to breath, which made doing most
other things difficult. It was a relief to have it start to feel better, and by
today it is practically back to normal. The fatigue that came along with the
chemo has also started to disappear. It had been hard to find the energy to do
much until about Thursday. Luckily I have a desk job and can just sit around
all day.
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